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The Story You Will Never Read: Redskins Owner Steps Down
Snyder announces he is banishing himself to his $70 million yacht.
In a stunning display of maturity and personal awareness, despicable Washington Redskins owner, Daniel F. Snyder, today fired his head coach then himself. “You pretty much have to fire a coach who finished with a 3-13 season,” said Snyder. “But the real problem has been me all along,” he announced to a shocked gaggle of scribbling reporters.
“From day one, I have let my gigantic ego, some would call it Napoleonic in nature, interfere with every aspect of our operations,” admitted Snyder. “I will confess that a strategy of bringing in tremendously overpriced free agents well past their prime may have backfired. It is also possible that giving preferential treatment to certain star players may have been, er, misinterpreted and might have been demoralizing to other lesser players in the locker room.”
Snyder, however, refused to apologize for suing Redskins season-ticket holders for failure to make payments after losing their jobs during the recession, saying that the team’s dismal performance had otherwise provided him little joy besides crushing and annihilating the powerless.
Snyder also stood by his decision to have once banned all signs at FedEx field critical of him or the team. “There’s a cost to free speech,” said Snyder. “You can think all the bad thoughts you want about me and my horrendous track record as a conniving, profiteering schmuck, but you can do that in the privacy of your hovel and certainly not in my beautiful stadium.”
In his shocking announcement that he would sell the team, Snyder raised eyebrows even further, when he disclosed he was becoming principle owner of City Paper, a publication he once sued for libel. “City Paper, I assure you, will spend the next ten years correcting the historical record to what it should be in my mind.”
Asked to enumerate the many reasons for his consistent failure as an owner in less than 3 hours or so, Snyder demurred, saying only that his biggest fault was loving the Redskins too, too much.
“My love for this team and for the Native American people of America has possibly blinded me. The great passion I have felt for the team and all the oppressed Indian tribes they have always represented may have led me to take impetuous actions from time to time. So blame me for caring too much,” he concluded as he wiped away a single, sad, yet symbolic tear.
Redskins and Nationals: Crass vs Class
The Redskins remind me of a 3-year old with a shiny new toy who plays with it so obsessively, the thing is broken and doesn’t work anymore after a few weeks.
It could be worst, though. If they could figure out how to do it, RGIII would also catch passes, block and play in the secondary.
Unfortunately for the kid, he ended up with the Washington Redskins; a team that is proof that no matter what apparent good fortune has landed in their laps, crap still travels downhill, directly from owner, Daniel Snyder and the Father-Son Shanahan coaching duo. The Rebuilding Century continues. Except, of course, these are the Redskins. They have nothing to rebuild with til the year after next with no 1st round draft picks next season (traded for RGIII). They will continue to be in the 2nd year of an $18 million reduction in their salary cap for violating the NFL’s rules on signing free agents during the lock-out last year.
Last week, receiver, Josh Morgan, drew a personal foul to end the Skins chances at a comeback in St. Louis. And this past Sunday…a late personal foul cost them again…this one apparently incurred by Redskins offensive coordinator, Kyle Shanahan. Unlike Morgan who at least faced the music after the game and talked to reporters, the Redskins did not make Kyle Shanahan available to the press after the contest. Here’s the message this sends to the team. The players are accountable. The coaching staff is not.
Starting at his own 2-yard line, RGIII had driven the Skins to the Bengals 19 yard line with enough time left for several shots at the end zone. They ended up losing 36 yards. How do you accomplish such a thing? Here’s how: a 15-yard sack, a 5-yard off-sides penalty and young Kyle’s personal foul. On their last play of the game, RG faced a 3rd and 45.
Contemplate that for a moment. 3rd and 45.
“Daddy, please don’t make me go out there and talk to those mean reporters.”
There is no doubt the Redskins picked up a franchise player in RGIII. If he physically survives the beatings he will be taking week after week, he will have been worth every one of those #1 draft picks. The Skins are now averaging over 30 points on offense every game. At quarterback- mission accomplished.
I do find it striking how differently the Redskins treat their star player than, say, how the Washington Nationals protect Stephen Strasburg. The Nationals are guarding their investment by ending his season early, convinced their long-range planning will yield a bounty of future stellar seasons from Strasburg. The Redskins? With the Shanahan family clinging to dear life for their jobs if they have another abysmal season- Sunday showed how much they care about RGIII. They will keep running him out there until he ends up in the ER.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the difference between long range and short range planning, between Ted Lerner and Daniel Snyder- between class and crass.
I’ll Never Say Anything Bad about Dan Snyder Again- If He Does This:
Peyton Manning and Robert Griffin III- Get Them Both!
If Redskins owner, Dan Snyder wants to finally win the respect of fans- and turn the team into a true contender- it all starts with an audacious strategy that’s finally beginning to leak out as a possibility. It’s not an either/or. Get ‘em both. Sign Peyton Manning and trade up in the NFL draft and get Baylor’s Heisman award-winning quarterback, Robert Griffin III.
Then with Manning under their belt, they can more easily sign at least two of the best wide receivers available in a free agent market that’s packed with them- including guys Manning has been throwing to for years like Reggie Wayne.
With what’s left of your draft picks, you take offensive linemen to protect the quarterbacks and defensive backs which are really the only remaining weakness in what is currently a great nucleus of a strong defense.
I actually don’t think the Redskins are as far off from playoff contention as many think. When they were healthy last year, they got off to a 3-1 start. They then lost 9 starters to injuries and it revealed the team’s really obvious weakness- lack of depth at almost all positions. That’s what you address in the draft and with some additional forays into the free agent market.
The Manning/RGIII tandem is fascinating on a number of levels. Griffin, who has the speed of a wide receiver and ran a jaw-dropping 4.3 second 40 yard-dash at a recent scouting combine- also has brains and a strong arm. And with Peyton Manning, a hall-of-fame quarterback for a mentor. Concerns about Peyton’s four neck operations and overall physical condition is alleviated by knowing RGIII is available, even as a rookie, to take Manning’s place in case of injury.
But wait—there’s more! The Redskins would have to rebuild their offense to accommodate Manning and along the way, they could draw up a few plays where Manning and RGIII are on the field at the same time- a kind of Wild Cat option that would blow people away. If he’s got wide receiver speed- well, by golly- use him as one every now and then.
But beyond the x’s and o’s…think of the public hysteria that would be unleashed by such a move. Acquiring one of the greatest quarterbacks in NFL history and a Heisman-trophy winning, charismatic kid who runs like the wind and throws a football like it was launched out of a cannon.
This is not akin to signing a lazy egotist like Albert Haynesworth or a bunch of marquis has-beens like Deion Sanders and Jeff George This would take gobs of money- but for once- well-spent. You can never go wrong loading your team up with star quarterbacks.
And as they negotiate with Peyton Manning over the next few days, Mike Shanahan, whom Manning likes and respects for his proven history of managing great quarterbacks, should promise Peyton the moon. Better pass protection? You bet, Peyton—we’ll get two in the draft another two in the free agent market. Wide receivers? We’ll get whoever you want- write up the list and we’ll go buy ‘em. Guaranteed contract? Yes, sir- anything you want, Peyton, sir.
Then give up whatever it takes to get RGIII, make up for some the lost draft picks you’ll have to give up with free agents and then sit back and watch something amazing happen. Winning football and a previously snake-bitten franchise that will once again own Washington, D.C.
Danny- this is it. This is the best opportunity you’ll ever have to take us back to the Promised Land.
Dan Snyder’s Law Suit: Never Mind
Redskins owner, Daniel Snyder, has decided to drop his lawsuit against Washington City Paper officially ending his attack on the 1st amendment of the constitution.
If you need background on his actions that became a cause célèbre for lovers of free expression in America, you can find my finely honed criticisms over this matter here, here and here.
I don’t think this legal action was going to work out well for him. First, free speech rights regarding public figures are pretty sacrosanct in American courts (see Falwell vs Flynt). Plus, DC has a statute that allows for prosecution for law suits aimed to intimidate freedom of speech. The Snyder legal team’s approach to this was not to question the merits of such a case were it to have been enforced, but to claim the DC City Council had no right to pass such a law.
Of all the things Snyder complained about regarding City Paper’s scathing synopsis of all the goofy things the Redskins owner has done through the years- he had pretty much dropped his outrage for all elements of the article except one; the impression the piece gave that Snyder himself, was personally involved in “slamming,” the practice of changing people’s phone services without their knowledge, back when he ran Snyder Communications many, many years ago. An out-of-court settlement was reached at the time in which Snyder admitted no wrongdoing. City Paper conceded they may have left the impression Snyder himself was involved in slamming practices but insisted they did so without malice.
Wisely, a word not ordinarily associated with Dan Snyder, he backed down. The pre-season-opener announcement cleared the decks for a new era of good feelings as he seemed to sense the Redskins may actually be a decent team this season and further distractions on the frivolous law suit-front would be counter-productive.
Bravo, Snyder. This is almost as big a victory for free speech rights as the 28-14 Redskin win over the Giants was a statement about how good and how loved his team could be if he just stops meddling with the front office and causing self-inflicted public relations wounds.
Bye Bye Albert (If he passes the physical)
Two seasons worth of Albert Haynesworth should be just about enough for anybody. His largeness is theoretically headed to the New England Patriots ridding the Washington Redskins of their most annoying player ever and writing the final chapter on Daniel Snyder’s high-spending ineptitude.
For $100 million, the Skins got maybe a half a season out of him. Along the way he pouted about the team’s defensive system, complained about the coaches, failed physicals, got arrested a couple of times, got suspended, got taken off the field in a cart once after getting winded in a game, fell to the ground uninjured but seemingly exhausted during a play and stayed on the turf like a gigantic beached whale while 21 other players continued running, blocking and tackling all around him.
There are some priceless quotes from a few newspapers about all this today that I’d like to share. From the New York Times:
Now, apparently Patriots Coach Bill Belichick believes his magic powers extend to extracting…talent from Haynesworth, which means he spent his lockout time building a wand strong enough to move nearly 400 pounds of self-absorbed entitlement.
And the Boston Globe puts it this way:
Well, this will certainly liven up camp.
Patriot’s fans seem to be optimistic. The Boston Globe asks them what they think of the trade. Here are the latest numbers:
1) Love it, if anyone can straighten him out, it’s Bill Belichick 55%
2) He’s going to be more trouble than he’s worth 12%
3) I’ll wait and see before deciding 32%
Belichick will have to see if he passes the physical on which this trade is contingent. Albert didn’t too well with physicals at last year’s training camp, failing them three times. Pats fans will also be hoping Albert avoids incarceration after his August 23rd trial for misdemeanor sexual assault. Presumably he can afford some pretty good lawyers.
Redskins fans will be circling Sunday, December 11th on their calendars; the day the Patriots are due at Fed Ex Field and our first opportunity in DC to see the New Albert, the Old Albert or No Albert.
Dan Snyder and His Big Bone
Redskins owner, Dan Snyder, is back with his lawsuit against City Paper, now filing in DC instead of New York. He could have done so quietly- but no. The re-filing came with an op-ed piece in the Washington Post explaining why this particular dog can’t let go of this particular bone.
I posted passionately on this when the matter reared its ugly head the first time around. The point I was trying to make is that while Snyder says his father was a journalist and he understands criticism and he’s never filed a defamation suit against anyone before, the fact of the matter is that the effect of his legal action is to cast a long and threatening shadow over anyone who dares to criticize his majesty- or they too may end up fighting a multi-million dollar law suit that would end up bankrupting them.
You may recall the lawyer-letter to City Paper from the Redskins General Counsel that intimated exactly that; say you’re sorry or you’ll spend so much time in court that your sorry little paper and its measly little resources will never cover the court costs and you’ll go out of business.
I know this about the long, threatening shadow because in a very small way, I felt it myself. After my first post on this matter in which I questioned the sanity of the Redskins owner, worried friends e-mailed me or posted stuff on Facebook to the effect of—careful- or you better “lawyer up.” And they weren’t kidding either.
No. No one should be afraid to criticize the rich and powerful and famous. This is one of the reasons we fought a doggoned revolutionary war. So we could say anything we wanted to say about King George III and his ilk and not have to face lawsuits or prison. It’s why the American courts give huge latitude to those who criticize public figures.
There were about 57 different bones that City Paper threw at Daniel Snyder in the column that started all of this last autumn. A veritable catalogue of complaints about the Redskins owner; from his incompetence as an owner to the Redskins suing their own fans when they lost their jobs and couldn’t afford to pay for their season-ticket contracts; the ban on signs at Fed Ex Field critical of Snyder—the stuff we’ve all read about now for so many years.
But there’s only one bone Snyder is suing over according to his op-ed piece in the Post today. The one bone that is worse than all other bones:
I honor vigorous free expression in the media. But even a public figure can sue for defamation when a tabloid paper publishes a harmful assertion of a fact, not an opinion, that it knows to be false or recklessly disregards the truth.
That is exactly what this writer and City Paper did. Among many examples in the November 2010 article, the most egregious was when the article stated: This is “the same Dan Snyder who got caught forging names as a telemarketer for Snyder Communications.” That is a clear factual assertion that I am guilty of forgery, a serious crime that goes directly to the heart of my reputation — as a businessman, marketer and entrepreneur. It is false.
Here’s what happened (or so it’s alleged). His company got nabbed (allegedly) for “slamming” a couple of decades ago; the practice in which you (allegedly) change people’s phone services on them without them knowing it. There was an (alleged) out-of-court settlement in which Snyder Communications admitted nothing but (allegedly) paid unspecified amounts in damages. Did the City Paper actually mean Daniel Snyder himself participated in the practice? Or did they mean the company he ran did? Did the paper show actual malice?
That’s what the courts will sort out. And he wants a jury trial. This is going to be rich.
Now, in an effort to protect myself and calm my friends and family who worry that Daniel Snyder will take me to court someday because I may say something he doesn’t like, I have crafted the following language that I will use at the end of any given article I will forever more, publish about Daniel Snyder:
The previous article was not written with any malicious intent toward Daniel Snyder, hereby known as the “public figure.” I have made no harmful assertions or representations of fact purposely intended to damage the public figure’s reputation beyond those actions he, himself, has taken to injure his own standing in the community. I further assert that it is my full right as an American citizen covered by the protections of the 1st Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America to criticize, ridicule, satirize or otherwise poke fun at any damn public figure I feel like.
The Washington Redskins Are Idiots
They’re benching Donovan McNabb this Sunday for Rex Grossman- a guy who has the nickname of the “human turnover machine.” Let’s just say it; Mike Shanahan and his son, Kyle, are bizarre. Skin’s owner Daniel Snyder is a jinxed, star-crossed icon of ineptitude. This has become a cruel joke on us all.
True…it doesn’t really matter that the players are reportedly “pissed” at this news. Very few of them will be back next year. And true, the game means nothing- the season was lost the day Shanahan benched McNabb the first time- against Detroit with 2 minutes to play. I just didn’t expect this and should have known better. Everything Daniel Snyder touches turns to 100%, unmitigated crap.
Rex Grossman is not the future of the Redskins. He doesn’t know the 2-minute drill better than anyone else. Donovan McNabb has actually been very good in two-minute drill situations this year; his trouble has been with the other 58 minutes. And it’s not his fault. He has a pathetic, patchwork offensive line whose malignant neglect remains the legacy of Snyder’s last stroke of genius, General Manager, Vinny Ceratto. He has no receivers to throw to because none of Vinny’s draft picks bore fruit.
Rex Grossman, one of the least mobile quarterbacks in the history of the NFL, is in mortal danger this Sunday. The Dallas Cowboys, no longer the pathetic team we beat earlier this season, are drooling as we speak. I’m not sure which will happen first; his third fumble of the game or his removal from the contest on a stretcher after he is frighteningly blind-sided by DeMarcus Ware.
And what is it with the Shanahan’s that makes them incapable of leveling with reporters or the fans? At 10:30 this morning, Kyle Shanahan implied McNabb was starting and that nothing had changed with the preparation routine. He lied through his teeth. Turns out Grossman has been practicing with the 1st team today.
His father, whom I thought earlier this season, was a real leader of men, is looking more and more like a lost puppy; flailing about for some miraculous salvation from the living hell he signed on to in agreeing to work with Daniel Snyder. Mike Shanahan lied when he told reporters he benched McNabb in the Detroit game because he didn’t understand the system. He was frustrated with McNabb’s play and made a petulant move that backfired royally. He should have stood up like a man and admitted it.
Dan Snyder’s last act of free agent brilliance, the signing of Albert Haynesworth turned out swell, of course. As much as I enjoyed the way Shanahan humiliated him- the lazy, self-indulgent, overpaid thief should have been released in the pre-season.
Let me be real clear about this. Donovan McNabb has more class, intelligence, poise and skill in his little finger than the combined body mass of the entire Washington Redskins coaching staff and front office. He’s been an inspiring role model for his teammates, for fans, for little black kids- for everybody in greater Washington, D.C.
When this season is over Donovan…run. Run hard. Run for your life- far, far away from the dysfunctional mess that is the Washington Redskins organization. Far away from Daniel Snyder and from the neurotic, lying, and increasingly frustrated Shanahan family. Find your Mecca somewhere else in the NFL and play out the last 3 or 4 years that could have been spent here- anywhere else.
Godspeed to you, Donovan. We’ll see you at the Hall of Fame induction ceremonies a few years down the road; a place you richly deserve to be not only for your play, but for your class and style and dignity. And for the patience you have shown throughout your career with so many mindless fools.
The Haynesworth Era is Over
The Redskins have just suspended Albert Haynesworth for the rest of the season without pay. They will save almost a million dollars with the move. Meaning he pretty much stole about $31 million over the past two years.
I’m pretty sure I called him a creep once. Ah, here it is, June 18th of this year. Called him a sorry-ass too:
For those of you who don’t know about this creep, Albert Haynesworth is the highest paid defensive lineman in the NFL, brought in by the Washington Redskins last year and apparently told by owner, Daniel Snyder that he’d be allowed to play the position any way he wanted to. Fast forward a year and there’s a new coach in town who wants Albert to play a different position as part of what’s called a 3-4 defense.
He demanded to be traded. He refused to attend voluntary training sessions. The Skins tried to dump his sorry ass but apparently no other team wanted to swallow his bloated salary or a $20 million bonus that was due to him in the Spring. Coach Mike Shanahan made it clear- if we can’t trade you and you take this $20 million bucks, we expect you to play whatever position we decide.
He took the money and then refused to show up to mandatory training sessions and this week, reiterated his intent to leave Washington and play elsewhere.
His teammates have turned against him, calling him selfish. The fans, of course, loath him. He has burned every bridge he had in Washington and now possibly, across the NFL. And if the Redskins can’t get rid of him, he will remain a cancer on the team for the entire season.
Cut him. Swallow the losses and cut him. Let the millions of dollars in losses burn a great big hole in Dan Snyder’s pockets as a lesson to not be such a chump about bringing in high-priced free-agent divas.
Well, I’ll be darned. They didn’t cut him. He did remain a cancer for the three-fourths of the season. Dan Snyder has a HUGE, well-deserved hole in his pocket.
Here are excerpts from the statement by Coach Shanahan:
Despite the club’s numerous attempts to persuade Albert Haynesworth to abide by the terms of his contract, he has repeatedly refused to cooperate with our coaching staff in a variety of ways over an extended period of time….he has consistently indicated to our defensive coaches that he refuses to play in our base defense or on first-down or second-down nickel situations. He also has refused to follow the instructions of our coaches both during weekly practices and during actual games as well….Yesterday, when Albert was at Redskin Park, he told our General Manager Bruce Allen that he would no longer speak with me. Although suspending any player is not a decision that a head coach enters into lightly, I believe the situation has reached the point where the club clearly has no alternative.
As Haynesworth spoke to the media yesterday, I noticed an enormous diamond earing he was sporting in his left ear. I thought to myself, that thing must be worth $50,000! Hang on to it, Albert. A reminder of the days when you used to be a high-paid NFL star.
Whoa- Those were Redskins????
Who were those guys wearing Redskins jerseys last night at Fedex Field? Somebody call the cops because there’s been a massive kidnapping. About 80 guys pretending to be football players have been abducted and replaced by 80 guys who seem to know what they’re doing.
I know, I know, it was just an exhibition game- the first one, at that. And against a Buffalo Bills team that’s not the greatest club in the NFL-but still. 42-17?
OMG- we have a real quarterback! Two, actually! And old Donovan McNabb; he not only read defenses and completed clutch passes- he had SPEED. He did stuff like outrun defenders.
Back-up Quarteback, Rex Grossman was even better; 61% completetion rate, 2 touchdowns and a 122.5 passer rating. Do you realize both those QB’s have started Super Bowls?
What is going on here?
And unlike me, if you actually have a life and went out on a Friday night and missed the game…you need to know about this rookie named Brandon Banks. His 77-yard punt return for a touchdown was positively electric. It was apparently not a fluke either because he did that sort of thing all the time in college. And Coach Shanahan says the kid is actually a great reciever too.
Ah, Coach Shanahan. Mike Shanahan. I love this man. Not only does he inspire, not only does he know what he’s doing, not only has he whipped this previously sorry lot of a football team into shape…he succeeded in humiliating Albert Haynesworth throughout training camp! That alone makes him my hero. Albert played nose tackle last night, by the way. That’s the position he hates so much he was willing to risk becoming the most villified player in the NFL by dissing his own team most of the summer.
In his post-game press conference, Shanahan didn’t gush for a single second. I may not realize it, but he seems to totally understand this really was just one lousy exhibition game…and he pointed out all the stuff the Skins did wrong in their thrashing of the Bills and somberly stated there’s still a lot to work on. OMG- a ball coach who’s a leader of men!
But wait- there’s more.
We have a defensive coordinator in Jim Haslett who’s a former head coach- and he looks damn well like he knows what he’s doing too! The Redskins intercepted, like, two passes!
And let’s not forget Mike Shanahan’s son, Kyle. He’s the offensive coordinator and play-caller. Dad said he would never hire his son until he had proven himself with other football teams. So the kid took over the Houston Texans offense last year as the youngest offensive coordinator in the game and turned them into the #4 ranked unit in the NFL. At 30, he’s four years younger than Donovan McNabb- but damn if he doesn’t lool like he knows what he’s doing too!
And as for Daniel Snyder, the Redskins owner who presided over the decade-long destruction of one of the legendary teams in football; the guy whose team banned fans from bringing signs to games, sued their own fans in the middle of a recession when they couldn’t pay up for their season tickets, that released blocks of said tickets to web-site scalpers…my I-hate-Dan-Snyder meter is beginning to ever-so-slowly turn toward “ambivalent.” Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would ever turn ambivalent over Daniel Snyder.
Damn. I may have to find a new villain.
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Has Daniel Snyder Lost His Mind?
I’ve been trying very hard not to write about Daniel Snyder’s lawsuit against the City Paper. I feel like Sylvester with Tweety Bird; a tasty little morsel flying all around my head and I’m trying to be good, I am….but I.. Just. Can’t. Help. Myself.
Have you read the actual lawsuit? It’s amazing. Here’s what the Redskins owner alleges has occurred to him because a guy most of us have never heard of wrote a critical article back in November in a publication most of us don’t read….until now, of course.
Listed under the “First Cause of Action” on Page 9 of the lawsuit:
Oh My God. Someone hurt the feelings of the owner of the Washington Redskins. For this- he literally wants to “stop the presses.” At least it’s certainly implied in the lawyer-letter that came to City Paper’s ownership group shortly after the publication of the article in November from Redskins General Counsel, David Donovan:
Really, now? A commentary about a public figure merits a threat to put a news publication out of business by what some may perceive as a frivolous law suit? I say frivolous, because no matter what could possibly have been said about Mr. Snyder- have you ever read the decision in Jerry Falwell vs Larry Flynt? Trust me on this one. City Paper did not come anywhere NEAR what Larry Flynt wrote about Jerry Falwell in Hustler magazine some 25 years ago. Flynt won.
And the law suit demands that this be decided by a jury trial. As this is being litigated in New York City, can you just imagine the scenario of a bunch of New York Giants fans sitting in judgment about the alleged business practices of the owner of the arch-rival Washington Redskins?
I don’t want to go out on a limb here, but I do believe someone is being just a little thin-skinned.
But as long as we’re talking law suits…what about a class action from 3.5 million Washington Redskins fans against the club’s owner, seeking monetary damages for deceptive representation of said NFL team as a “professional franchise?”
Jury trial…right here in ‘ol DC.