Home > Culture > I Wish for World Peace and Considerate Subway Riders

I Wish for World Peace and Considerate Subway Riders

Subway 10

Actually, I have already wished for world peace. I actively donate to fight cancer and I wish it would go away. I do my part against animal cruelty; I wish the best to all our animal friends. I don’t even have a car so I’m certainly doing what I can to maintain a small carbon footprint and thereby wish the planet an environmentally sound future.   There really is only one remaining wish I have for 2015 and that’s that selfish subway riders would suddenly become considerate individuals.

New York City is well aware of the issues and is starting up a subway etiquette campaign and Washington, D.C. would be well-advised to do the same. But since it is the DC Metro system and they have their hands full with things like perpetually broken escalators and running the trains on time, I am not optimistic they’re capable of also handling a simultaneous public relations campaign.

Hence- this handy pocket guide to subway etiquette.   Actually, the only “handy” thing about it is that you may be reading this blog on a smart phone, which is a portable device, and therefore is, by definition, handy.

So let’s get started.

 

Seat Hogging

Subway 5

Here’s a lady who thinks that because she shops, she is entitled to three seats.  Don’t do this. People are not staring at you because you’re attractive. They’re staring at you because they are getting a first-hand, close-up view of a selfish a**hole.

Pole Hogging

Subway 4

Here are two examples of people who are mistaking a subway pole that passengers use to maintain a sense of balance- with some sort of device that gently massages their butt-cracks. And here’s a courtesy sign that was specially created for them:

Subway 3

Attack of the Knapsacks

Subway 6

People who wear knapsacks like this never seem to fully appreciate just how often they smack people in the kidneys with these damn things. Because they wear them on their backs. Where they do not have eyes.   In their new etiquette campaign, NYC is going to ask knapsack users to carry the things instead of wear them so there’s a better chance they can see when they’re about to take out an innocent passenger.

The Train is FULL, Thank You

Subway 7

Some people see this as a full subway car. Others see the three and half inches of empty floor space by the door and take it as an opportunity to squeeze in. With their knapsack. No. This train is full. There is another one coming. Usually within 3 or 4 minutes. Also…some of these people could be notorious door-hoggers. They refuse to budge when anyone is entering or leaving the subway car.   It is ok to leave the train for just a second, stand on the platform and let people get out…and then you can get back on again!

Escalators

Subway 9

All together now! Stand on the Right- Walk on the Left.   This goes year-round and there are no exceptions in the Spring during tourist season.

Escalator Alternatives

Subway 8

Since this is usually the state of the escalators in DC’s Metro system, the stand-right/walk-left issue is often moot.   The nearby elevator doesn’t work either.   There are old-fashioned concrete stairs though. Feel free to stand to the right on those as long as you’d like.

And happy commuting to one and all in 2015!

  1. irma spencer
    December 29, 2014 at 6:43 pm

    Right on, Robert. Happy, healthy new year.

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