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The Governor of Texas and the Woeful Cowboys

November 8, 2010 Leave a comment


The weekend prior to the NFL opener between the Dallas Cowboys and the Washington Redskins, Texas Governor, Rick Perry, wrote a letter to Skins fans that was published in the Washington Post. Now that “America’s team” is sporting a 1-7 record, the Governor’s letter seems worthy of a re-analysis.

On the face of it, Governor Perry’s letter was rather humorous. That is, it contained language that, while dripping with sarcasm, could ostensibly, leave a reader slightly amused.

The article is entitled, “Rivalry? What Rivalry? In the Governor’s words:

For as long as I can remember, the Dallas Cowboys and Washington Redskins have been a defining rivalry in the NFL –if “rivalry” is defined as “a hopelessly one-sided” series of stinging defeats.

To be fair, the rivalry’s not really that one-sided. Heck, Dallas only owns a 20-game advantage in the series. That deficit (and what’s Washington without a deficit?) could be overcome with only 10 short years of consecutive Redskin wins, and perhaps even faster if the teams were to meet in the playoffs.

To put this in terms a Redskin fan can understand: The “playoffs” are what happen at the end of the “regular season,” or, as it’s known in D.C., “the end of the season.”

By now, I suspect you are beginning to catch on to the bitter irony here. If there were a picture of the term “eating crow” in the dictionary, the honorable Governor from Texas would have his picture next to it. The Dallas Cowboys were eviscerated last night by the injury-plagued Green Bay Packers 45 to 7- the 3rd worst defeat in the history of the Cowboys franchise. They are now 1-7 on the year.

Oh yeah, they’re playing the Super Bowl in Dallas this season, did you hear? I do believe the Governor mentioned that in his letter.

From their perspective, the Cowboys have their eyes on the prize. I’m not afraid to admit that with a young quarterback in his prime and a top-tier defense, the Cowboys have folks in Big D thinking “hometown Super Bowl.”

Redskins fans, meanwhile, have to be content as management continues to tweak the team’s three remaining “trouble spots”: offense, defense and special teams.

What a coincidence! Why, we seem to have the very same “trouble spots.” Well, maybe slightly less troublesome than the issues America’s team is facing right now.

I do wish the Redskins well as they play the Cowboys. As we always used to say when I played small-town, six-man football in high school, the most important thing is to play fair, play hard.

In fact, I invite Redskin fans to visit Texas and enjoy the oddly-familiar experience of seeing at least six players on a team actually exert themselves.

Ah, if only the Governor could have foreseen what the nation watched last night on Sunday Night Football. “Exerting” much of anything does not come to mind when analyzing this year’s edition of the Dallas Cowboys.

Now, granted, the Washington Redskins are not perfect. They have a woeful offense. Their defense, while among the league’s best in take-aways, gives up yardage at an alarming rate. Our head coach benches his star quarterback in the last 2 minutes of a game in a moment of temporary insanity and then covers up the truth with bizarre explanations about hamstrings and brain cells incapable of understanding 2- minute drills.

For awhile there this week, we were, in fact, pretty much the laughingstock of the National Football League. Until, Governor Perry, your boys suited up for a game at Lambeau field before a national televison audience last night.

On the bright side, sir, you will have some hellacious early draft picks next year.

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Note: The Dallas Cowboys fired Head Coach Wade Phillips this afternoon.