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The Vacation Mind-Set

I know I will eventually get back to being a serious person who actually cares about stuff, but for now my first day back at work reveals, without any ambiguity, that I had a real nice vacation because I’m still on it.

I think I want to be a professional vacationer; perhaps a beach and restaurant reviewer.  I’m looking for a situation in which people deposit bi-weekly checks in your bank account, but you don’t have to exert any actual energy on anything.   I want to be Paris Hilton.

Ten Nine Signs You’re Having Trouble Readjusting to Work from Your Vacation:

 1)      You catch yourself asking one of your colleagues to go get you a banana daiquiri and a shrimp quesadilla.

2)      You demand the security guard get you a clean beach towel.

3)      One of your colleagues says they have something important to discuss and you look at them like they’re some kind of three-eyed, green alien with antennae.

4)      You keep asking people what happened to the breakfast buffet.

5)      Nappy-time comes easily at all times of the day.

6)      I catch a glimpse of myself in the office bathroom mirror and see some guy in a suit who looks just like me but, for the life of me, I cannot recognize.

7)      In the same vain, people all around you are wearing clothes and you wonder why.

8)      You grab a bite to eat at the corner deli and you tell them to charge it to room 510.

9)      You try to think of ten signs you’re having trouble readjusting to work from your vacation, but it soon becomes too taxing and you stop at #9.


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