Home > Humor/Satire, Politics > Cravitz Family Goes On National Sightseeing Tour

Cravitz Family Goes On National Sightseeing Tour

We make too much of this Sarah Palin Bus Tour business. She’s just taking a little family vacation. Who hasn’t taken a summer to load the kids up in a garishly-painted bus with mom’s signature next to the preamble of the Constitution of the United States?

Regrettably for the Cravitz family of Columbus, Ohio, they also decided to take an RV tour across the country at the same time. Organizers of the Memorial Day Rolling Thunder event looked puzzled as Mrs. Cravitz emerged from their vehicle in her curlers asking about their placement in the parade of Harleys across Memorial Bridge.

The Cravitz family trip to the National Archives building was, frankly, a disappointment. Some important lady was in the Archives building at the same time, and the usually lengthy crowds snaked around five blocks instead of the usual two. With temperatures nearing 100 degrees, they pretty much gave up and decided to drive to Gettysburg National Battlefield Park instead.

While visiting the battlefield they ran into a colorfully painted bus in a parking lot and toured that and then it was off to New York City. There, they saw several buildings named Trump, drove down to Times Square, but for the life of them could not find a seat at La Famigilia Pizzeria, which was just as well because they sensed something odd about the place when they saw a man with orange hair and a woman with a beehive hairdo eating pizza with forks.

The Cravitz’s were last seen headed toward Boston but almost got in an accident when they had an uncomfortably close call with a colorfully-painted bus, followed by another bus with big red letters that spelled ‘CNN’ and 10 or 12 other vehicles that looked like vans with big metal poles on top of them.

“Hey, wasn’t that the bus we toured at Gettysburg?” asked Mrs. Cravitz. “Yeah, I think these people are following us.” responded Mr. Cravitz. “Why would anyone want to follow us on our family vacation to historic places along the East Coast?” queried Mrs. Cravitz. “It’s insane, I tell you.” said Mr. Cravitz. “Let’s get the heck out of here and go to a couple of places nobody goes to in the summertime….New Hampshire and Iowa!”

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  1. Montana
    June 2, 2011 at 1:54 am

    Run, Sarah run. Sarah Palin was so successful as a governor, she graduated early “Bitter Quitter”, she real is a “Dan Quayle” in heels. She clearly loves “dishing it out” but real can’t take it because she loves playing the victim card. Poor thing she fail as a VP candidate (her lie that her daughter was engaged was such a farce), her stand-up comic fiasco on the Jay Leno Show, please, her TV show canceled after declining rating, I guess her perpetual run for the White House is the only thing she can look forward to, but since she is a coward she will only throw small minded rocks, poor thing. Since we already had an idiot “W” that caused our current economic debacle, America knows not to trust the GOP fools who flaunt the idiocy.

    You know what this current crowd of GOP liars want is to turn the United Sates into China, where only a few giant corporations run things, they own the factories, that apartments, the grocery stores, the gas stations, the newspaper and magazine publications, the radio stations, the television stations and you pay them and they get all the benefits, and if you do not like it go jump off cliff. Well some Chinese workers seeing that as individuals that they cannot progress have done just that by committing suicide. The current crowd of GOP liars want to abolish Medicare from the elderly, they want to abolish a woman’s right to choose and have control over her own body, they want to abolish collective bargaining rights, and on top of it all they want to blame the poor, the middle class and the public sector workers for a recession that the GOP created, while their beloved “Fat cats” continue to pay themselves exorbitant salaries, bonuses, fringe benefits. Yes this is the GOP “Radical Right-Wing Social Engineering” that they dream about. The win in New York was the beginning but the next will be Indiana, Iowa, Michigan, Ohio, Wisconsin and later the other states of our nation. So run, Sarah run.

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