My Favorite Super Bowl XLV Moments
Did I get the Roman numerals correct? Those crazy Romans. There must be a better way. Oh, yeah…numbers. Anyway, here are some of the highlights of the evening as I remember them and I wasn’t even tipsy.
The WTF Moment
Christina Aguilera gave us a moving rendition of the National Anthem. She was, like, totally into it. Wait, what…what was that…did she just…OMG…what happened to the ramparts…what happened to the broad stripes and bright stars that gleam so gallantly? Did I really just hear that?
And in that moment, $19.95 a month for DVR playback capabilities finally paid for itself. It was not me…it was HER.
A-Rod Gets Fed Popcorn
Much has been written about this unforgettable moment in Super Bowl history; when the Fox cameras did a sweep of celebrities in their luxury boxes, texting, looking bored and feeding each other popcorn. Wait. Was that? Was that Cameron Diaz feeding Alex Rodriguez popcorn? Isn’t it usually peeled grapes?
This was, apparently, a masculinity faux paus of the worst order. I understand women think this was cute and men thought it was—yucky. Man hungry. Man eats food himself. Man feeds woman. Woman does not feed man. Hello? Caveman 101.
I Will Never Eat Doritos Again
Someone on Madison Avenue thought it was cute or funny or something to have people licking the leftover, orangy-yellowish, salty remnants of Doritos off other people’s fingers? This was the most disgusting Super Bowl commercial ever. Not only will I not buy Doritos again but if one, somehow, ends up in my mouth, perhaps fed to me by a beautiful movie star, I will not even lick my own fingers ever again.
I Will, However, Be Drinking Pepsi Constantly
The first date ads were…honest. I like the girl thinking, “Does he want to have kids?” And the guy “Will she sleep with me?” I understand there’s a sequel to this spot in which the girl leaps from the table, opens her date’s mouth, and forces an entire can of Pepsi down his throat.
The Black-Eyed Peas
It must be generational. My older friends say they didn’t get it, didn’t like the half-time show at all and left their living rooms to do something else. My younger-minded friends loved it and thought the show kicked ass. I loved the choreography, the fact there was no fake mosh pit full of screaming idiotic fans and that Fergie wore a dress that went approximately 24 inches above her knees.
Though it kept interrupting the commercials and the celebrity camera shots, the Super Bowl itself, proved entertaining in its own right. Bravo, gladiators! Well done.